The top three things I learnt at ROSACon2017:
- An imposter lies in all of us (see what I did there?) He/she/it lies about your ability, your talent, your ideas, just about everything. It will tell you that you can’t write, shouldn’t write, have no right to write. Your imposter is a lousy, stinking, lying toad, catching your insecurities like flies and belching them back to you. Chain him up, banish him back to the river, or regard his remarks with the disdain they deserve. Even Neil Armstrong feels like an imposter. Neil Armstrong. His toad’s a total dick.
- Writing is a journey more fraught with pitfalls than an episode of Stranger Things. Just when you think you’ve got it worked out and you’re on track, something will turn everything upside-down. Contracts get axed, publishers disappear, agents mushroom up with promises of fairy lights and otherworldly reach, and you’re left trying to figure out if this isn’t perhaps some sort of conspiracy. Do we stop writing? No. Do we stop trying? No. Do you put on your boots and confront the demagorgon, sorry, challenges? Hell to the yes. Think of it as a curiosity voyage, and writing as the paddles (with apologies to the Duffers).
- Heeltyd heeltyd speeltyd. Looking to write for the US market? They’re looking for hard bodies and hot storylines. But writing sexy scenes requires a few glasses of wine, and a euphemism-free vocabulary. Here are some words you might want to consider editing out of your dicktionary: love muscle, throbbing member, cruise missile, hot meat injection, love sword, eight inches of blunt fury or deep-veined purple-helmeted Spartan of love. Just a suggestion…don’t take my word for it.
Did I say top three? There were about twenty four thousand five hundred and a million other things I learnt. Roll on, ROSACon 2018.
Want to find out more about ROSA? Have a look here .